The Quiet American

It took 5 days to happen. My father came home after what was apparently a bad day and immediately started to take it out on everyone around him, namely my mother and myself. He comes home and starts bitching about every single tiny little thing he can. I’ve seen him chew people out for everything from not putting out a stick of butter to “incorrectly” loading the dishwasher. Fortunately, I’m a better person then I was when I lived here in high school. Back then, I would have argued and made everything worse. Now I can realize that it’ll only make the situation worse so I just sit back, don’t speak to him and let him act like a long-suffering martyr. After a couple of hours, he’s usually calmed down and fells horrible because I’m generally ignoring everything that horse’s ass says or does.

I actually used to be afraid of myself because I thought I had an irrational anger problem. I would get so angry at everything. I spent my days wanting to just punch people out. That changed when I left home and moved to Virginia Tech. I don’t really get angry any more, at least not like I used to. Now, you could probably punch me and I wouldn’t get mad. I would knock you the fuck out but more out of self-defence then anger. I hate it when I get angry and I’m ashamed of the times when I get irrated at work because it’s the first step to anger. It only took 5 days of me being back here to get worked up again. I can’t wait to just disappear from this family. Buy a ticket to Europe and only leave an email address to contact me. It’s stuff like what happened today that makes me only see my folks a couple a times a year.

I knew it would happen eventually. Yesterday when I was talking about the unstable internet connection here, I knew that one day it become a serious pain in the ass. That day was today. It didn’t become stable until 1:15am. That is bullshit.

My sister left to go to Germany for a school trip today. We dropped her off at the airport this afternoon. The first stop on their little tour is Berlin. I hope everything goes alright. Apparently they are doing some sort of buddy system thing. With 7 girls and only 1 guy student, I think he lucked out. If the one guy does ANYTHING to my sister though, the Atlantic won’t be enough of a barrier to save him.

The rest of the day was pretty dull. Lots of messing around with the computer and reading. I did get a call from Blockbuster today and apparently I have an interview tomorrow for a job. I’m also trying to get to the eye doctor and get a new prescription so I think it’ll be a busy day.

The internet connection here at my parents house is horrible. I spend hours trying to sign on intermittently, and when it does finally connect, it’s practically dial-up. I blame it on ancient wiring in the neighborhood and the house. Somewhere there is a bad signal that fouls it all up. It took 3 minutes for the new post screen to open tonight. I might have to stop doing this for a little while.

The rest of the day was alright. It was humid and all but I didn’t have much to do outside. A couple of days ago, I sent a message to a girl who posted an ad on the Blacksburg craigslist. She responded today and seems nice and is kinda cute from her facebook profile. Who knows what’ll happen. Probably nothing.

Tomorrow, my sister is going to Germany for a school sponsored trip. I hope everything goes alright.

I’m feeling better today. I don’t have a horrible headache so it’s automatically an improvement. Anyway, I said I would talk about the 4th but there really isn’t that much to tell. We hung around here and tried to dodge the rain. It was incredibly humid and hot so we didn’t do much outside. When we set off the fireworks, the smoke just hung around because it was so oppressive. We had ribs for dinner which was excellent.

Today, the 5th, was tiring. It was still massively humid. We hauled a truckload of brush to the dump down in Lorton. The brush was still all wet so I ended up dripping with sweat and nasty water. We also did some landscaping in the front yard. Really it was not all that exciting or interesting a day. I just hate the humidity up here. It punches you in the face every single day.

Today was the 4th of July. It was all well and good for the most part. I did my good dead for the day and gave the last of my pot to a cancer patient. I might talk more about what happened today except I’m got a spliting headache. I don’t know why it’s pounding so much but I don’t want to keep writing like this.

Today was long. I haven’t been able to sleep lately and last night it was a real pain in the ass. I had wanted to wake up around 8:30 and then take care of everything around my apartment before I came back up here to Northern Virginia. Instead, I was wide awake at 5am and woke up for the first time at 12:30pm. I don’t know if I slept through the alarm or turned it off in my sleep or what. I managed to get out the door and on the road around 1:15.

The drive was long and hot. I was sufficiently entertained by my new playlist. Everything was great until I got up here. There was no traffic for the entire trip but once I reach Manassas, I’m surrounded. I missed the opportunity to jump onto the Springfield Parkway from R-66 and ended up going the wrong way on the Beltway. I turned around and thought that everything would be fine but then I got off on the wrong exit. The road kinda splits and one side says “Baltimore” and the other says “Washington”. I took the latter and ended up somewhere that I didn’t intend to go. It took 20 minutes of bumper to bumper without AC to finally make it on the backroads. I always get so lost on these major highways around here. They completely change everything every couple of years. Even when I actually lived here, I was never huge on going out so I still don’t really know road names.

It was good to get home. My family and I spent most of the evening actually conversing. It was alot of fun. I give it two days before we’re out of stuff to talk to each other about and stay in out respective parts of the house. I had beef tenderloin for dinner and a baked potato. That potato was soooo good. I was actually craving another one and just alittle bit ago I devoured a large dish of instant mashed potatoes smothered in butter and sour cream. My parents probably thought I was masturbating due to the moaning in delicious-ness.

Tomorrow is the 4th. We were going to go out and visit an old friend of the family who is currently suffering from a pretty bad case of esophageal cancer. I’m going to donate the last of my pot to him because he was looking for something to “help his appetite”. After that, it’ll be smoked salmon and fireworks. HURRAY!

Currently listening to: “Patent Pending” by Heavens

I’m fiscally sound for another month. I have paid off everything for the month of July and I expect to be fine for August. I spent a good portion of the day running around and physically organizing my finances. I have notes in 3 different places all reminding me of my various responcibilities and dues. I spent the rest of the time packing for my trip back up to Northern Virginia. That actually involve to much. The biggest pain in the ass was that I was unable to pack up my various cables without crawling under furniture. I think I’m going to take my bike back up and use it for transport in case I can’t get a job within walking distance.

I erased everything off my MP3 player tonight in anticipation of the trip. I hate some of the stuff that was on it and this is kinda like a clean slate. Actually, it’s exactly like a clean slate. I uploaded all the stuff I currently listen to and thats all. I’m going to keep the classic rock off of there until further notice.

I should actually sleep soon. I only got about 5 hours this morning as I was awake until 7am. I just sat there and read webcomics. I should crash out pretty fast tonight. At least I hope so. I don’t think there is any risk of me dozing while driving since I’ll have the window down and I’ll be singing at the top of my lungs.

I just looked at my new, one and only playlist, entitled “Mellow with a Kick”. The first song is “Crazy Train” by Ozzy. That is incredibly awesome.

I didn’t do anything. I slept late and surfed the net like always. There wasn’t even anything on TV. I hope to get my check tomorrow. I did find out that when I cancelled my service with NTC at my old apartment, they didn’t really cancel. I had been charged for a couple of months. I’m going to try to get some of my money back. I need to contact Comcast because i’m not going to need service for the next couple of months. I need to get packed up soon to head back to Northern Virginia.

I’m doing this as a series of periodic updates throughout the night.

10:00 - CSI:Miami is on. They were at this house with all these lazers in it. I thought, “Wow, Lazernet”. David  Caruso put his glasses on and said “Welcome,….To divorce of the future.” and then it screamed out YEEEEEEAAAAHHHH. This show has some of the shittiest dialog.

10:16 - These commercials are either old hippys acting like douchbags about anyolder then 90 or shitty cell phone comercials. why advertise cellphone models? how many people can afford to trade their cellphone in for every new model. How can they make thoose labs look like raves. The lights are all flashy and neon, their is rave music and shit. its a lab, make it serious. its a collection of dbags and bitchy women. It’s all attitude, neon shirts, and snide comments. I would think that in a shitty city like miami, even the public buildings should have non-glass walls and flouresent lights. they make the freaken poolboy look a genius mastermind.

10:43 - That was a great sandwich. I’m running low on food though. freakin car commercials. There is this shape i keep thinking off. a square with a smaller square at each bottom corner. I don’t know why. I vaguely remember it like Becky’s front yard or a kids playroom in Lees District rec center. think the front yard because it was all concrete with a gate at either side. there were big bushes along side one of the gates. the 17 year old is driving a fucking mercades. How the fuck is that fair? I hate how they make Miami look. It looks all post-modern titanium buildings with neon lights and super-model secetaries. I’m reality, its mostly poor cubans and drunken yuppies. I fucking HATE miami. I hate it so much I won’t even capitalize the word.

11:22 - I just realized that anime is as corny and formulaic as an old warner-bros cartoon. I could practically see porky pig walking into some of those gags. I keep thinking about old things that seem familiar but I’m not sure if they’re real or from a dream. I can “remember” this old theatre with a balcony. It’s all dark but the walls are painted goldish. the seats on the balcony extend back and climb the wall until the very top you’re barely in your seat. It also tends to remind me of the boardwalk in Ocean City. it justs like a carnival type entertainment where I’ve been more then once. It is probaby not real but the memory of some old dream. Last night I had a kick ass dream. Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic 4 was working at some old cambridge like school. this guy showed up who was Sue’s old teacher. he had a serious crush on her so he made up thing thing about copper. he used the excuse about the copper to talk to mr. Fantastic and see Sue. He demonstrated his process by using Mr. Fantastic in a magic trick. the Old teacher was actually a secret leprochan. he couldn’t kill people put he could make it seem like they dead. He replaced Reed because his trick had the doors of the building go flying around the room and replace each other. we had to figure out which doors he had been chained to. The doors went flying around but reed reappeared in the middle of the room instantly. he had been replaced by the leprechan. the fake Mr. fantastic tried to drive the Invisible girl to the leprechan. Meahwhile I’m running around a subrurb like around beckys and i’m fighting the leprechan. I cut him with my pocket knife and he went away but where ever i went things kept happening because i was cursed. Thats about when I woke up. I don’t know why I remember that dream. I used to see watching David Letterman as a treat because we were usually away somewhere and I was in a hotel. thats the only time i could see it, when we at hotels and i didn’t have a bedtime. I remember some shitty hotels. like roadside, route 66 style motels. It’s like there is a light on over my shoulder and my ear is really warm. I think i’m already coming down. Fucking space aliens on letterman. they are kinda bobbing aroung behinds him. PANCAKES! I wonder why John McCain is known for that? Stop kissing Julia Roberts ass. Man should be drilling that ass. The dog scooting his ass over the carpet in that commercial is funny. And why is the dish detergent commercial making me think of a monte carlo casino? I hate mcdonalds. who takes a concept like that that far? I didn’t think Billy Crystal was still alive. what has he done since the last City Slickers? Why don’t they have a section for summer final grades? I want to know what I got on that paper. I got an 85 in History of Virginia but I don’t know about modern military history. I wonder If I can go to the dining hall tomorrow? I feel like Aunt Eileen and Uncle Larry used to live somewhere else. I see it as being very verticle with lots of smoked glass. There was a HUGE basement with room small pods.  Poking fun at misspelling on network television. Yeah this is high enterainment.

12:15 - I think I’m going to wrap this up. I’m coming down and don’t really feel like continuing this.

Tonight is the third night in a row that I’ve gotten high in celebration of the end of classes. I didn’t really enjoy it as much as last night when I watched a trippy episode of Doctor Who. That was a great time. Anyway, today was kinda productive. I called Jay’s parents and got them to send me my money. Apparently, they were away for the past couple of weeks. Now that I’ve got my money coming, I should be able to pay my rent. My parents also gave me some money which I don’t really like. I’ll probably end up using it pay off some of my expenses like my credit cards or Mom’s birthday present. I just don’t know how much it is. I hate taking money from my parents.

I also did laundry today. Now I know about how long each cycle takes. I had to run the dryers twice because they did shit to my wet towels. At least they’re really cheap. I don’t know how many more nights I’m going to keep doing this. I don’t really have much to occupy my time.